How i wish..........

Whenever i wake up....
I usually will call or sms her
I wanted to hear her voice, i wanted to see she reply my sms
But however sometime she will call me first..... : )

The moment when you called
I picked up your call straight away
I thought we can get over it and just forget what we had quarrel last saturday
But no instead.... the quarrel starts again

I did not call you yesterday, i wish both of us can really cool down
I din have the mood to work, not my day yesterday
Even my sis can tell i am not in the good mood

Whenever i think back our holiday trips, our happy moments
I wish we can always do that....
Be happy always... no stressful trips

When can i have all these back

I may building up my career
I may receiving many phone calls
I may repling SMS while with you

I know is an interuption but really sorry
I cant stop them to doing so....

Ok i promise you, i will reduce all these
Have a peacefully dinner with you

Babe, we have been together going to 4 years
I really treasure our relationship

Babe........I LOVE YOU

Time Bomb

Time Bomb

Haiz!!! So long din't log in.... whenever log in, sure got things to write
Whenever i am down, you definately will see me here

I am so tired.....
My mind is blank!! Dunno what am i doing at times...
I think my wish, my dream will not come true

Why......
Why a person's temper is so bad...

You also know your temper is so horrible...
Yet there isn't any changes...

You had promised me to try and change
You had promised me to give in sometimes
You had promised me to be more patience

However it is still the same.... . . . . . . . .

I dunno am i right or wrong sometimes
But i know, most of the time i am making you frustrated

And that's why i should be in the wrong again

What is LOVE?
Where is the LOVE?
How to be in LOVE?

I duno should i or not...

Trigger the fire again

I am here again... it has been quite awhile for not blogging...
Whenever i am down.... and that is the reason why i am here again...

Haiz... today we quarrel again... yes is my wrong that i promised you to go eat lunch together
In the end, i break my promise due to last min meeting up with my friendz

Yes, i shouted at u in the first place coz you din pick up my call... i am already shortage of time and wanted to inform you that i cannot have lunch with you... but in the end i send you home...

I know you are damn angry, i know you are very hungry waited for me till 3pm... but i am doing my job...i also didn't hav my lunch... i did told you that i am meeting up my friendz you are aware of it, but somehow my timing crushed.

When i come and look for you...i know u still angry me, superb angry me...i try to pampered you...apologise but you did not forgive me and we started the fire again...

Haiz!!! Why your temper is so .........

Haiz!!! Si beh chiam ah~~

Haiz!!! Someone please help me.....

I really dunno what to do???

Suddenly i felt...

Suddenly i felt... something has changed...
Suddenly i felt... something is missing...
Suddenly i felt... you have no longer likes to stay at my place...
Suddenly i felt... you likes to be alone...
Suddenly i felt... you spend more time in gym, monday, wednesday, friday, sunday...
Suddenly i felt... your behaviour towards me has changed...
Suddenly i felt... 3 years has past so fast...

Suddenly suddenly suddenly...

Her makeover

What do you think? Any commend? Swee Boh?

D'esplanade - Our Home 2012

Our Condo - coming our way still have 2 more years to go...can't wait lah~~

Can't wait staying at 26th storey high...having sea view, fireworks view, city view, unblock view....excited...till the year 2012

Starry Starry Night.....

A superb sad song.... thats her favourite song.... a nice warmth comfort song, nice listening while staring in the sky...staring in the sparking stars.... how i wish she is here....

A big big family outing....

Ah Ma & Aunties are here....

I am delighted with my work

Last monday, i have closed my biggest deal so far, i believe thats my effort and i got it, show them a couple of houses and they decided to get the one that i prove them the best unit.

I am so envy with this couple who already earn so much at my age, the husband in field service earn $6.5k a month and the wife who is a HR Manager earn $5.5k a month.
To them $50k COV is nothing. They purchased a 5 Room flat from me, the valuation is $465k + $50k COV - a total of $515k - My commission from them is a total of $7k
Indeed the house is very nice and is at 26th floor, corner, modern design.

How i wish i can be like them one day...

I will work hard for my future....Yesh!!! Chiong Ah~~

The bright new day

I have decided to forgive & forget, i believe she will change for me & for our future
One of the reason - We have too many plans & commitment ahead already and if we leave each other, our future will be gone...
2ndly - is not so easy to let go, if you really love a person
3rdly - Maybe i am in the wrong in the first place which resulted this

We resumed back our relationship smoothly without any quarrel these few days
I can see she is willing to change for me...or rather change for us

We went out chilling, movie, shopping, eating as normal couple doing so, and really hope can be like this till old

I can see her smile again - her little C smile which nobody has - thats her attraction to me...i see her happy & i am happy too...

你是我最深爱的人

Just now while we are in the car -
the radio 933FM on air this song

你是我最深爱的人

I listening to it - sound like referring to us
The lyrics are so meaningful sound so real to me...

词曲:永邦

爱上了一个人
能够为她牺牲
就算付出了生命
我甘心为了你
两个人在一起
分享爱的命运
永远都不会忘记
我们生活点滴
你是我最深爱的女人
你有最美丽的嘴唇
你拥有最动人的眼神
你带给我幸福和快乐
我是你最深爱的男人
我的爱绝对是永恒
做什么都值得
爱上了一个人
两个人在一起
分享爱的命运
永远都不会忘记
我们生活点滴
你是我最深爱的女人
你有最美丽的嘴唇
你拥有最动人的眼神
你带给我幸福和快乐
我是你最深爱的男人
我的爱绝对是永恒
做什么都值得
爱上了一个人
你是我最深爱的女人
你有最美丽的嘴唇
你拥有最动人的眼神
你带给我幸福和快乐
我是你最深爱的男人
我的爱绝对是永恒
做什么都值得
爱上了一个人

We still have our future????

I am thinking do i still have our future?
Although the house will be ready in 2 years time - But do i?

Haven get married & yet quarrel almost everyday
Everytime use break off as a threatening...

What if we are already married couple and you will start using divorce to end it?

Are you sure - you will do it?

Den how about our future?

Tired...i am very tired

I am superb tired....
Eyes swollen, having migraine, body aching, no appetite....

When can i be healed?

The truth remain unknown...up to you
I am very tired to ask you anymore...
No more strength to scold you...
No more feel to see you...
I will try to forgive & forget...

Can i really do it? Can i really forgive & forget??

Derrick - you must stand up!!! Your life has to be go on...You are a man...
Be a gentleman....be brave...

Are you listening to me??

Ok...i try...

家后

Mum ask......

Just now my mum ask me...

Why u removed all the photos?
Why u packed her stuff?

I dunno how to answer her and just say - we just broke up...
She ask me what has happened and who is at fault - she thinks i am the one and i just agreed lor
She knew something is strange coz 'she' never come to our house for many days already...

I think again - yah maybe i am at fault i am the one who created all these...

Can money buy happiness?

Can money buy happiness?

Can money buy happiness - actually most ppl agreed
Who don't want money?
Who don't want happiness?

What kind of happiness you have when you were avg or poor?
That kind of happiness is only up to a certain limitation

When you are rich...you can go beyond lots of happiness even reached to the top
Go around the world
Go to the outer space

What do you think? You want money or you want happiness?

Sure you will say, i want both lah...i wanted too or rather everyone

Do you know???

This morning when i reached home at abt 7am - i removed all our photos pasted on the wall
I packed her stuff and gonna to give it to her - why i do that coz i don't want to see her again...

Do you know the feeling when peeling away all those good memories photo?
Do you know how much courage that i have to take to remove it?
Do you know what is the feeling when u are packing her stuff away from my wardrode?
Do you know?
Do you know?

Hello!!!! Lord, are you there? Anyone listening to me?? How am i going to just let it be???

I don't wish to see day passes day, i cannot take that the loneliness

Really hope the world can end today!!!!!

People is saying - tomorrow will be a better day - i doubt so...i already get used to it with her
and now have to get started to be all alone, all the time, all the day and all the months...even all the years.....

What is cooling period?

What is cooling period....?

Isn't it 2 of us cool down, sort our mind & think

however someone can use it to go out with another guy till the next morning......

Till the next morning!!!!!!

If you were me, can you take it?
Can you don't think too much?

• Can you don't think where are they?
• Can you don't think what they are doing at this hour?
• Can you don't think i am down here waiting for 6 hours and you are enjoying with another guy?
• Can you know how i feel....
• Can you????

If you were me... what will you do next?

Just say bye bye to her and let it go?
Don't you feel all these 3 years effort & memories will be just disappeared?

What is love....

What is love?
Can anyone tell me what is love?

Love isn't it content of trust...
Love isn't it love each other...
Love isn't it happy together...
Love isn't it suffer together...
Love isn't it share with each other...
Love isn't it stick together...
Love isn't it communicate with each other...
Love isn't it to commit...
Love isn't it be loyal with each other....
Love isn't it 2 hand holding together....

Love isn't it .........

Can't sleep

Cancelled my today appointment
Really cannot think....cannot do my job....
Not enough sleep....
I have not sleep any eversince i come back home....
Almost 12 hours without sleeping...from 12am - 12pm....

What am i going to do now?
Where can i go?
What can i eat?
Who can i talk to?

Should i tell everyone my expreience or should i keep to myself again?
I'm afriad i can't keep long...i will blasted out???
I will think back...
I will cannot take it...
I will .....


Tears running down from my eyes...hiding in one corner of my room, crying over there....asking why??? asking myself why these few months keep quarreling, mostly all small matters......
why can't she just give in and be more flexible... ?
why every liitle things have to take it so seriously...why??
She getting more and more dislike me...dislike what i have done.....
why can't she be understanding to me....? No one can understand....
No one knows what is actually going on... ?
Should i say or not.....????
Am i totally wrong???
Where is my stand as a bf....???
What did i do wrong??

Is money really so important than love?
Can money buy true love?

Now i understand love is blind....
Love got no contract....
Love cannot last forever.....
You like it you keep..... you don't have the feel you just throw it away....

i know sometimes i might be over do it, over protective
but u must understand i love you...i treasure you...and thats why i am here....
thats why i do all these....
But can u understand in my shoe....?
Can you feel it?

You only think about yourself....
Just as so stuborn that what you want...you want.....
Can you give in to me at times?

Can i just forget abt these 3 years of our relationship?
Can i just be myself....
Can i just get use to it....
Can i just go out alone....
Can i just sleep alone...
Can i just....

The End

I will never wanted to see her again - she has hurt me deeply....very deeply...my heart is so painful, just now while i am at her house packing all my stuff, i wanted to cry... my eyes are red... yet i still can't see her...i called her and she hang my call....call her several times and she hang up again & again..... i know no hope to heal this relationship back le....

When i drive my car home....i cry out loud in my car....i am very sad...very down.....almost got the intention to commit sucide - drive almost 135kmph on the high way...feel like killing myself and everything is gone....i am gone too.....then i got no more pain...no more hurt... and my heart will just stopped....i got this intention but i dare not.... i just wanted to quickly reach home and start writing in this blog.... Maybe after that i might end my life one day.... i know from now on is a terrible recover to start all over again....

Now having bad headache maybe coz i have waited at lobby for 6 hours and keep smoking & smoking.... feel like falling down now.... how god? is this consider end of this relationship... God - is everything is over??? How am i gonna stand up again.....we see each other everyday...sleep together almost everyday...and now...how am i going to get use to it.....

haiz..... pain ah~~my heart very pain ah~~~ who can i talk to???

Waiting waiting waiting..waited for 6 hours

I have been waiting waiting waiting for her - from 12:30am - waited till 6am, almost 6 hours - can u believe it???? Anyone can waited for someone at lobby for 6 hours??? I dunno why i can do it....coz maybe i wanted to heal back our relationship...anyway forget about it 6 hours cannot compare to 3 years - 6 hours of waiting become nothing...3 years become nothing too..... and thats the end with her... We had just finished - simply just broke up....

I actually intend to write my 3 years of the relationship, collected all the past 3 years photo and memories and intend to put up...now no need liao, no point doing so.... coz our relationship just ended

Haiz... i am so superb angry...i know she was with someone definately a guy...coz she don't have any close gf will come out at this hours...i know her well...she was with her gym trainer all this early morning...can u imagine??? can any boyfriend take it.....??? i am sure no guys is so open to allow that.... anyway don't feel like saying anymore....thats it..our properties our new home - all have to cancel, all money wasted...those deposit gone, our saving have to divide and get it back - planning to get marry very soon after, proposed was just for show!!!! And now a quick ending - thats the end of us....

Her frienz

Friends Forever

She introduced me to her frenz, hahaha.... she got 3 close frenz, their name JF, XJ, XW...and all are malaysian and staying nearby...so we usually meet up at jurong point - la kopi lor... we will spend hours at Mos Burger or long john silver - chatting, gossiping blah blah blah.....

XJ - Married
JF - Attached
XW - Attached

XJ - got a very good husband, pamper her alot
XW - got a very RA boyfrend - keep talking porn stuff...and addicted smoking
JF - hmmm...i know her for just abt 3 years and she had already changed 4 bf -whenever we go overseas - she will bring along a new fresh guy, hopefully this is the last one for her -_ -

Genting - 08082006

In the coach - On the way to genting - Piggy face!!!!

Aiyo!!

What you want???

Just reached!!!! HAPPY!!!

Ready to start soon

Sweet!!!

Yeah!!! Lovely pics....

Sweet dreams......

Sian....going back soon